It felt odd to bid adieu to the rest of the students, after all we have been through, and it felt like our separation should have come with a bang rather than a whimper. I know that we will all see each other again in two weeks, but it will not be the same. We will carry with us the relationships we have built up, but the program that brought us together and isolated us in each other's company has ended, that part of our lives is over. Who can say how we will maintain contact or drift apart? I can only do my best to make this the group that I don't fall away from upon reintroduction to larger society. I hope to hold on to these memories and relationships, that we may look back on them together in days to come. If they do fade, that is why I took so many pictures and maintained this blog, to remind me of the good times we had.
Visiting Monteverde with my dad gave me a new perspective on how this all may play out. He was returning for the first time in 32 years, and marveling at how much has changed and how much has remained unchanged. He maintained contact with 2/3 of his group, I can only hope to do the same.
Returning to Monteverde felt very different, not being with the group. I walked the research trail and hiked the paths I had before with others, half feeling the presences and hearing the voices of my friends who were there a scant two months ago. I would sometimes forget myself and turn to address someone who was not there, to comment on a vine we had swung on, a view we saw, or a bird we had both admired, only to stop at the empty air. It was that transience of our time together that made this experience so special and bittersweet at the parting. One day, I too may return with another who has experienced it.
I am sure that it will all be fine, that we will remain close, and that all my insecure moping will be unfounded. To the life beyond, bolstered not fettered by memories of the amazing adventure we shared. Pura Vida.
Return to Monteverde 15-3-2014
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I hike alone, yet not alone
Accompanied by phantoms
Constructions from my memory
Of companions of days past
They point out experiences we once shared
Of views and birds and trees and trails
Memories I try to recreate
Yet come up hollow for lacking their presence.
I climb the tree and find the plots
Swing in the vine and admire the view
Encouraged by ghosts
Glimpsed between the stems
Faint calls echoing, then fade to birds
Memories only when I turn to engage.
One day perchance we will return
Reunited in our old haunts
A dream for years far off, hidden in mist
This fellowship must not be broken
We must remain strong, maintain our bonds
United in memories of this great adventure
That will not fade away
But spur us to greater heights.
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